whew!

So, we finally made it to Lugano!

Here's something I would suggest. If you can avoid it at all, don't travel, domestic or otherwise, with 3 children and a 7 month pregnant wife. And, it is also paramount that you do not do so while everyone is absolutely ill with what appears to be both the flu and strep throat. Really, just trust me on this one.

Mrs TexSwiss ended up hurting her back, and was made nearly completely invalid by the experience. There are few times in one's life that hearing a pregnant wife say 'Please pick me up a cane while you are in town', will make you feel secure inside. Actually, it does just the opposite. I felt full of dread and worry, actually. Especially since I had to leave for work in a couple of days, and she was to be left at the tip-top of a very steep mountain without a car and three crazy kids to watch every day. I don't like seeing my wife in pain, and as she was wont to let me know, this was the worst pain she ever felt, which, as a mother of 3, is alot of pain.

Also, it won't make you feel very good to have this same pregnant wife tell you that she feels as if she is having contractions while sitting on the floor of the baggage claim in an airport in Milano. She isn't even due for 2 months, so you can only imagine the shock of nervous electricity that went through my belly. I was also completely sleep-deprived, as we had been packing for 2 days before we left, and got on the first flight with less than 4 hours of sleep during those 2 days. By the time we arrived in Milano, we were on day 3 with no sleep. That is the point that hallucinations might set in, as they have in the past. Thankfully, this time, none showed up.

Imagine being at an airport, and watching some idiotic foreigner show up with a pregnant wife and three kids. Now imagine this poor, idiotic sap trying to push 3 massive luggage carts with over 12 giant bags piled high on them through this airport. Now, imagine yourself smiling quietly to yourself as said moron desperately asks the people around you for help in a gibberish-like language that sounds alot like your native tongue, but you and those around you just sit there with bemused looks on your faces. Wouldn't that be funny? Just make sure not to offer any help. Trust me, no poor sap walking around in this state would want a lick of help. Just continue to laugh and point.

After sitting around for 2 hours waiting for our bus, we finally made it to the area where all the busses congregate before taking off, and it turned out that it was only a van. A van full of people, and only 3 seats left. Ah, that was funny. Such great fun to talk to a person that speaks only Italian and looks frustrated. All we wanted was to get to Switzerland. All he wanted was to get away from us and our huge amount of luggage.

Long story short, we made it to our new place in Lugano. About 3 hours after we arrived, the driver of the van showed up at our place, laughing and looking for his keys and jacket. We were kind enough to accidently abscond with his jacket containing his car keys, and he had to drive all the way back from Italy to retrieve them. Thankfully he thought it was funny, and instead of punching me in the face, happily grabbed his coat and keys, and laughed very heartily on his way out the door.

I can only imagine he was thinking about how much of a moron I am.